Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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