Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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