Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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