Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
