You're so nebulous sometimes
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
