I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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