Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
