Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
