nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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