I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sext me about skeletons
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
