Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
