just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize