brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize