You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
