i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize