we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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