So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize