just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she told me i tasted like america
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
