I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize