Well douche your snatch and let's go!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
