Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
