Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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