Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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