we're blogging at a bar
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
