i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize