She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
