i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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