Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize