i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
