Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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