Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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