Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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