I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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