they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the condom got lost in my hair
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
