He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
