kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
