Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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