M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
