I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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