i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
