i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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