Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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