we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Girls should come with a carfax report
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
