I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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