the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
we're so committed to being not committed
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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