i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
