It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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