she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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