i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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