I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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