Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
