TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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