took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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