Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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