would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
