How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
