She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
