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woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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