i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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