That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
