I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize