i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
