he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize