This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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