So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
