I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
