I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
