I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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