What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
