He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
