I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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