just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
